Dewey Defeats Truman!

I never expected to be recognized as a "Senior Superlative" in my high school yearbook though I thought I had a shot at "Best Looking."

I didn't play organized sports, dressed poorly and was graduated from the bottom of my class. Small objects and toys were a choking hazard. My academic history was summed up in a handwritten note tucked in my "Life's File" that the Guidance Counselor kept. It read "Grades below average but passing. Likes to keep his hair long."

So when the yearbook came out it was no shock to me that I wasn't named "Most Likely to Succeed" and crowned "Wittiest" instead. A bit of typecasting as I had been humiliated with the "Class Clown" moniker in my sophomore year. My hapless twin brother was named "Friendliest" which was another way of saying "not as dangerous or sexy as his twin."

To my chagrin, a popular athlete was named "Best Looking" probably because "Most Athletic" went to someone else. He looked okay, I guess. He had a decent car and dressed better than I. Since I counted surfing as "taking a bath" he probably beat me on personal hygiene as well.

I demand a recount!